Top Ten: Best Excuses to use on Phone Salespeople

.. I wasn't sure what the technical term for the people who call right before dinner to sell you a luxury package to Thailand was so I broke it down.. Phone... sales.. people. Could've been men, but I've come this far in making sure my blog is free of all aspects of political incorrectness.

So here goes..

1. The obvious one, I'm underage. This one is best used if you are at least under the age of 25. Perfect for me. Particularly enjoyable when you actually ask them eagerly if you can still be considered for the sale.
"Oh... I'm under 18.. But that's ok right!?"
To which the salesperson replies with a condescending laugh and change of tone..
"Ohh haha.. is mum or dad around?"
"No I don't have parents."
Just to spice it up a bit, why not suggest that the product that is trying to be sold somehow contributed to your parent's death.
Some examples may include can openers, exercise machines, helicopters etc.
The explanation is usually followed by an awkward blur of incoherent syllables.
Up to you if you want to tell them your joking.

Back to the age thing, its also effective when you're approached on the street by hippies who want you to save trees, as my good friend Janelle will demonstrate.
and the first rule totally doesn't apply, if your a senior citizen please please PLEASE tell them your not old enough!
Although funny story that goes hand in hand with her innovation..
The other day we were strolling along Hay Street and she spotted the ring leader of the forest hippies. He wouldve been about 10 metres away if I remember correctly. I saw him and looked down, preparing to avoid a committment I was likely to get myself into. She looks over and excitedly calls out his NAME. I think it must have been Boris or something..
"BORIS!!" *waves frantically.
So apparently when explaining she wasnt old enough to save trees, she asked for his name. She befriended the greeny that everyone else wants to avoid.

2. This kind of relates to the first one. Whatever it is that is trying to be sold, or that you are asked to be a part of a survey for, declare an utter, extreme distaste for it. I remember my brother being asked to answer questions for a survey about radio. Apparently the lady asked him if he wanted to answer the questions and he responded with a resounding...

"I hate music."

"Oh... ok..is there anyone in your household who listens to the radio."

"No. We all hate music."

Because what can they do??

3. The simple "Sorry I'm really busy! Can you please call back later?"

4. My grandparents told me this one. Same as previous but suggest YOU call THEM back.
Clever hey?

5. Pretend you can't understand anything they're saying. In many cases this is actually not difficult to act out.

6. Why not try asking THEM some questions?

7. Explain that you are only house sitting and you do not really live there.

7. If they ask how you are TODAY in the first sentence you knows its a salesperson.
Fair enough if its a friend saying "Hey Hows it going?"
Not fair enough if its "Hello How are you TODAY?"
Its the vague question of your general state of being vs the more direct enquiry that includes a specific time period.
If the above ideas do not appeal to you when you hear the latter approach, simply hang up.

8. I know the title says ten, but as if you need more than 7 come on.

9. You could always just talk to them and answer their dumb questions, who knows you might even win something.

10. Having made this list I've added another thing to the list of things I do that make me feel guilty about who I am as a person. I suppose these people are just doing their jobs and don't really deserve to be treated like this but at the end of the day you have to ask yourselves.. are these people... really people? What is it that makes us human? and is it really possible for robots to develop human emotions?

Think about it.